The Pregnancy Center (Part 1)

Note: This post corresponds to the Momic chapter: “The Pregnancy Center (Part 1” You can read it on Webtoon here.

My first action after I found out I was pregnant was searching “How to Get an Abortion.”

The second was, “Local Pregnancy Centers.” 

Imagine my surprise when I realized I lived three blocks away from one, and I knew exactly where it was: two doors down from my freshman lecture hall. 

You see, you never notice these things until you need them. 

I’m no stranger to Pregnancy Centers. In fact, in Highschool, I was a member of a fundraising club called Micah Challenge based upon the biblical principles outlined in Micah chapter 6, verse 8: 

“And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

Then at 18 years old, I helped raise funds for other women’s benefits. I never thought I would walk through the doors of a pregnancy center to solicit their services myself. But there I was, sitting in the lobby waiting for my free ultrasound. 

“I don’t belong here,” I remember thinking to myself. I grew up in a Christian home. I had gone to Christian sleepaway camp every summer, and graduated from a Christian high school. I had always said I would wait til marriage. I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant at 21 out of wedlock.

This wasn’t supposed to happen to me. 

In retrospect that was arrogance. I was exactly the type of person for an unplanned pregnancy to happen to, simply because I didn’t think it could happen. People get pregnant every day, planned and unplanned. I was 21 years old in the most fertile period of my life. My great-grandmother had seventeen children for God’s sake!

But in that moment as I filled out paperwork, all I could think was “How did I get here?” 

Well, the answer to that was simple. Too simple actually. 

Embarrassingly simple. 

I know pregnancy centers have gotten a bad rap in the media recently, but I didn’t feel any condemnation or embarrassment from the volunteers there. In fact, I felt more ashamed of myself. I was a backslidden christian. I knew better. I shouldn’t have been there. I felt ashamed saying that I believed in God but was such a hypocrite. 

They didn’t shame me though. After I filled out my paperwork, I was given a cup and escorted to the bathroom to do another pregnancy test. Of course, I already knew I was pregnant. I had already done three tests at home. However the center couldn’t do my ultrasound without first confirming I was pregnant, and I understood that. 

After I was done in the bathroom, I was given an ipad with an intake form in which I was asked questions about my age, the circumstances of my pregnancy, and even about my child’s father. Most of it was optional, of course. 

I think that was the most surreal moment for me, sitting in that chair filling out those questions. At that time, only my boyfriend and I knew about the pregnancy. Filling out the paperwork was the first instance where I had to confront that fact in real life…and it was terrifying. 

My world truly came crashing down when the volunteer returned and uttered one word. 

“Congratulations.”